Friday, October 22, 2010

When getting ready to do a shoot for a Chopper Magazine be sure to remember these guidelines!

These rules were developed by myself and Christian from Xian Leather:

Just be PC, like all the other badass beard wielding bikers now a days, talk about IT but don’t DO IT!!!!

wear Converse and a Plaid shirt

don’t break laws!

get your nails done also... and use your $500 phone while im there....

And take a little bit of cash out from your trust fund but be sure to tell the story about how when you were 2 your father did a wheelie on his chopped knucklehead while you were sitting on the tank and how you grew up in the middle of the dessert wearing a Mexican blanket cause your mom was a hippy and your father was an outlaw biker.

And how Banditos charged the House and my dad and his "bros" kicked the shit out of all of em.. and during the scuffle the Porsche 911 got a scratch on the bonnet..

Yeah and how you didn’t start to learn how to speak until you were 7 but you were doing oil changes on your old man’s 50 Ford when you were two and you are a master TIG welder and you taught Jesse James how to use an English wheel

and then explain why I have girly hands with no scars and nails cleaner that a brand new plate glass window...

And why it’s a known fact your father is really a big shot criminal defense attorney and your mother grew up in Freehold NJ. And why two years ago your were living in a loft in Manhattan and now have a two car garage, Im sorry, shop in Williamsburg, spend $150 on the plaid shirt your wearing and have a poster of Jason Jessee hangin in your room but really not quite sure who he is.

And I secretly watch OCC reruns with my friends as we drink Watermelon latte's and eat crumpets... on the Ethan Allen furniture My dad paid for...

Oh yeah make sure that duck ass is spot on for the shoot!

Brand new Boots, no scuffs.... Belt is mandatory! American express GOLD to pay for photo shoot lunch...

3inch thick watch band that holds my $10 G Tag Heuer ...

Make sure you are a member of The Jockey Journal and have a user name that is the name of "your shop"


  1. Nick, come out to Portland, OR, the place is crawling with motherfuckers like this. Trustafarians acting broke. And that girl jeans shit. Dude's must have micro dicks.

  2. So fucking true! There is a bunch of dudes around here like that that have nightsters with apes and fat tires that they call thier "bobbers"!

  3. i dont see a problem with any of that.

  4. sounds like youre just mad because this guy is a GREAT story teller!